This saying in Al-anon— don’t just do something, sit there. In other words, it’s ok to take a deep breath, take time before responding to anyone or a situation. some of the silliest situations I’ve found myself in have been because instead of taking time to think about how I feel about something or if what i’m asked is even doable or feasible, I have gone into people-pleasing as a default (codependency ) & said “yes” when i realized after, “wait, i can’t do this” or “I’m not comfortable with this but how do i get out of this now?” or “I’m not comfortable around this person, i don’t like the way i’m spoken to, I’ve set boundaries repeatedly with this person that get ignored, this person engages in flat-out verbal abuse, so why did i just agree to do X, Y, Z with this individual?”

It’s codependency & it’s not even about THEM. It’s about me. It’s about the choices we make. the thoughts we think about ourselves. 

In working program, a spiritual practice (for me, A Course In Miracles —find what works for you), In recovery like Alanon , we learn about boundaries & we learn to engage in DAILY prayer and meditation, we learn to change our thinking. a shift in perception.

I’ve been practicing prayer before I act. before I say “yes”– waiting for inner guidance and and honestly, sometimes I don’t know what i should do. so, I wait.

This ALONE is miraculous. Why? Because the shift from chaotic to peace is now a norm. Do I make mistakes and react before going to higher power? Yes and often I am shown right away BECAUSE I didn’t get into alignment with the God of my understanding FIRST; I didn’t act in a way that was my most compassionate or kind. I’m working on it!